Archive for the ‘mourning’ Category

Well, Passover madness took over and it was only now (Monday!) that I realized I didn’t post a quote for the new week. So here it is: “Better late then never” 😛

Just kidding.

This is another one of Paulo Coelho, but I didn’t know it before. This really summarizes my belief. But ohh, I miss my brother something fierce.

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I spent the weekend with my sister in law and her kids. In the corridor on the way to the bedroom, my SIL put up a lot of small family snapshots. Small pictures, maybe 15×15 cm. The girls at different stages, my brother Z”L and SIL together, the eldest on my brother’s shoulders. Suddenly his smile was coming at me from so many different places on the wall. The collage presents a beautiful happy family. But my brother never played with his baby girl, will never have the opportunity to put her on his shoulders, will never grow any older in the family snapshots on the wall.

But he is smiling at me with love and waving at me.

My brother, I miss you so much.

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I look back over the last year, and many problems we had were solved, or are at least in progress. My toddler broke her leg, but within a month she was running. My eldest had serious trouble in school, but after going to a bazillion therapists and psychologists we seemed to have found something that makes him happy.  My middle boy is suffering from stomach aches and is undergoing testing for celiac, but if he’s celiac we’ll manage – I love baking, after all, and nowadays you can get practically everything gluten free (for a price…). And at least he won’t be in pain all the time.

But my brother is still dead; and nothing can bring him back.

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